Friday, 21st September

Tonight is Kol Nidre – the night when Jews worldwide begin a twenty-five hour fast of no food and water to spend their time in prayer and meditation. It is the ‘Day of Atonement’ when we ask for forgiveness for our sins and the sins of our ancestors.

I decided in 2001 that synagogue was not the place for real contemplation and meditation, as we are constantly reminded of the sufferings we have experienced as Jews. The feeling of fear and guilt pervades the air and there is a sense of shame – that we have done wrong and therefore deserve punishment. This programme is set at a very young age and it has taken me many years to let go of this belief system. Now I spend this day on Hampstead Heath, and meeting up with old friends. Being in nature, surrounded by Mother Earth and friends, is my meditation and contemplation.

Tonight, while my family were at synagogue, I attended a 5 Rhythms dance workshop entitled Inner Sense with Alain Allard. It was held in a huge church in Vauxhall, London, a magical place full of energy and the perfect place to be on such a night. Instead of atoning for my sins I decided to celebrate and honour who I am.

Most of the time I have my inner critic going on at me, telling me I am not good enough. Tonight I wanted to acknowledge myself and all my achievements. As we move into a new paradigm of self-love and acceptance, the self-flagellation and repentance dissolves.

I feel I have atoned enough for the sins of my ancestors, and suffered enough for their mistakes. I know that I am no longer bound by their karma and can do things differently. I have chosen to walk another path. For the first time I also decided not to fast. This has been a powerful decision to make. In the past I used to believe that if I did not fast I would be punished in some way. I have been controlled by this fear for most of my life. Tonight I broke through the barrier of fear by letting go of the belief.

Only by letting go of our limiting belief systems and stepping through the fear can we become more able to listen to our hearts. There is no easy way to step through the fear. It takes courage and trust to fall into the unknown, as it’s painful to let go of something that has been a part of ourselves since birth. But once we take the leap and become free the path of real happiness opens up.

As we celebrate the Autumn Equinox this weekend and prepare for the full moon on Wednesday 26th September this is the time for New Beginnings. Check out my next blogs for more info on these auspicious days.

Ghandi said ‘Be the Change you Want to See in the World.’ This is the time to follow your heart, your inner knowing, and trust yourself by leaping into the unknown and allowing the magic of this mysterious place to lead you to true happiness.

Love and hugs

Rebekah Shaman xxx